


Worth

by TempestRising



Series: Omega Niall Series [3]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alpha Harry, Alpha Liam, Alpha Zayn, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Beta Louis, Bigotry & Prejudice, But Mostly Niall, Dubious Consent, Established Relationship, Everyone Needs A Hug, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Kidnapping, M/M, Omega Niall, Panic Attacks, Protective Everyone, Rape/Non-con Elements, really just a lot of hurt/comfort
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-23
Updated: 2017-01-15
Packaged: 2018-09-11 08:38:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 10
Words: 18,382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8972350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TempestRising/pseuds/TempestRising
Summary: The law seems so simple: if an omega is in a public place in India, they must be collared and leashed. Niall thought he could handle it. It's only one week. He couldn't disappoint the fans, all the omegas counting on him. Couldn't disappoint his pack.Or: How many times can the only omega in One Direction be discriminated against in one week before he can't take it anymore? And what happens when he's pushed too far?





	1. Chapter 1

  
_“Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.”_  
Martin Luther King, Jr.  
.***.

Niall had to make his decision before the end of the day, which meant a maximum of seven hours to decide between disappointing the fans and disappointing himself.

He tried to get the pack to make the decision for him, but Louis just clucked sympathetically and sent him to the alphas, and Harry and Zayn looked at Liam who frowned and shook his head. "We're behind you either way, love, you know that, but this is all you."

Because Liam (and Harry and Zayn and even Louis, though it was different for betas) was a Proper Civilized Gentleman. In the Western world, omegas of the past had fought hard for Niall's right to hold a job, own a house, divorce an alpha if he wanted to, go to University. And be uncollared.

Niall had a collar, of course, clasped around his neck by Louis when One Direction became the most recognizable band and boys and pack in the world after the "Take Me Home" tour. He liked to touch that collar, hold it when he felt lonely, but he'd only ever worn it in private, on very special occasions.

It was normal. It was what every other omega Niall knew did. And it was fine. Until their world tour was due to bring them to India

Though it was considered the height of rudeness to ask about Bonds or collars, some interviewers liked to talk about it when the mics were off.

"You all know about India's new law, right?" Nick Grimshaw (alpha, unbonded and likely to stay that way) asked. Looking at Harry. Of course. "Collared and leashed omegas in all public spaces." Nick cut his eyes to Niall, who ducked his head.

"We know," Harry laced his fingers through Niall's. "We're - talking about it."

Louis, lovely beta that he was who probably wasn't being pummeled with the scents of tense alphas everywhere, tried to steer the subject towards music, but Grimshaw continued blithely, "it's really no different from women wearing what-do-you-call-them head scarves, you know, hijabs, in Muslim countries. It's a sign of cultural respect."

That was the counter argument kicked along through Twitter and radio shows and every other platform during the will-they/won't-they speculation following India's new law. There was a week's worth of sold-out shows all over India that they'd have to cancel if Niall chose not to accept a collar and leash. And, the media claimed, it really wasn't any different from headscarves, so what was the big deal?

Niall was biting his lip so hard it bled, and Zayn tugged it gently from between his teeth as Liam answered. Louis liked to tell interviewers that he was leader of the pack, a hyperactive, mischievous beta leading three headstrong alphas and a willing omega. It had been done before. But everyone who mattered knew Liam was Alpha. Down to his protective soul. "It's a sign of public submission. I personally," Liam cut his eyes to Niall, they were all trying to so hard to let it be his decision, "don't want Niall to have to submit to alphas who think they can order him around at the sight of a collar."

"Oh, Niall knows better than to submit to any alpha off the street," Nick said dismissively.

Zayn growled and pulled Niall closer. Harry muttered a drawn-out "heyyy" and Louis, lovely Louis, snapped, "that's crap alpha reasoning and you know it!"

Nick held up his hands. "It's a joke!"

Louis looked like he wanted to keep arguing but Liam put a steadying hand on the back of his neck - a motion he never did with the cameras rolling, a gesture of dominance and a reminder to Be Good. A hand to the back of the neck could be used for subspace, or punishment. "It's up to Niall," the Alpha reminded when Louis snapped his mouth shut. "We all have opinions, obviously, but there's pros and cons to both sides. Our Indian fans have been absolutely amazing and we don't want to disappoint anyone but we made this tour schedule before the law was passed so, yeah, it's a conversation now."

Liam brushed his hand along Niall's shoulders and the blond tried to smile. And then they were back from commercial, and Grimshaw turned to him. "So, Niall, obviously here in the UK we heard about your, well, situation in Amsterdam."

Niall must have looked as surprised as he felt because Liam cut in again. "We don't talk about security protocol, Grimmy, you know that." But Niall had all of his pack around him, hot by his side, and he found himself talking.

"Well, you know that, um," he stopped when he saw someone behind the camera shake their head.

But Nick Grimshaw was the consummate interviewer, and prompted: "You're the most talked about omega in the world - that's not an exaggeration - so the security protection must be intense. Because, well, omegas have a habit of disappearing."

Disappearing was one way to put it. Especially from Amsterdam, where omegas were kidnapped an drugged and sold to the highest bidder. Everyone knew of the propensity for kidnappings, a famous omega a year going missing only to be found dead somewhere remote, raped to death, starved, broken as they were made into a toy for rich alphas who got off on sticking knots into famous faces.

The blinking "recording" light turned off and then, only then, did Niall realize he was in Louis's lap, wheezing. He blearily noticed Harry pushing Grimshaw out the door, how Liam was arguing with a suit, an then Zan's hand was on the back of his neck.

He didn't like going into subspace in public. He already felt like he had "omega" written on his forehead, asked about "being the only omega in One Direction" during every interview. His bandmates got questions about music and he got questions about clothes and wedding plans and whether he'd have pups or be kidnapped. He knew when he presented during the "Up All Night" tour that his life would never be the same. He wouldn't trade it for anything, of course, could never find the words to explain falling in love with his best friends, forming a pack, being their omega. But sometimes...well, sometimes this part really, really sucked.

He shook his head against Louis's collarbone, wiggling out of Zayn's grim. "My Niall," Louis insisted, gripping him tight. For two years they'd been betas together, had formed their own kind of bond, and after Niall presented late Louis had been something else, gentle and protective and dominant with Niall in a way Harry had tried to coax out of him for years.

A Management suit came over and Zayn growled but the beta girl, young and serious-looking, held up her hands. "We're sorry," she said, "next time Amsterdam will be on the no-go list. Do you guys need a minute?"

Niall looked up from where he was nuzzled in the nook of Louis's neck. "Thank you, Sarah, but I'm good." The woman lit up at the sound of her name and closed the door softly, giving them what privacy the BBC could offer in a room full of mics.

The other alphas came in and Louis reluctantly let Niall be pulled onto Liam's lap. They were shaking, too. Fucking Amsterdam. It had even made him forget about -

"India," Niall said. He felt Liam tense under him.

They'd all watched the law pass, a conservative ruling as a pushback against the perceived "omega rights movement" that was even spreading to parts of Europe, an angry generation wishing they could go back to some perfect past where omegas _knew their place._

Louis spoke first. "You know what I think. I'm with you to the end of the line."

"Thanks, Bucky," Harry teased, putting his chin on the beta's shoulder. He gave Niall a long look.

A year ago they got engaged, and managed to keep it to themselves for almost six months, telling parents, then siblings, then friends, and as the circle widened the secret became more and more precarious. Niall didn't even care wen it came out, couldn't bring himself to look chagrined as Simon Cowell promised they'd lose all their fans now that all five of them, beta included, were off the market at once.

And then. Sarah, the management beta, approached Niall with a cover shoot. Not for Sexiest Alphas or Best Boyband. No group shots. Just him, the first omega featured on the cover of Rolling Stone. Just him, his guitar, and the exclusive about what happened in Amsterdam. He thought their career was over, so he did it.

When Nick Grimshaw said Niall was the most famous omega in the world, he was talking about Rolling Stone, about how Niall's already impressive Twitter doubled in size overnight as their omega fans - a sizable chunk of their fanbase - thanked him over and over for talking, not about clothes or weddings or even music, but about sexual harassment all over the world, a kidnapping, the way his family hadn't contacted him since he presented.

He thought of the humiliation of being led into interviews, onstage, by a leash. He thought of the thousands of stories from fans about their own experiences with fear and exclusion. And it wasn't really a decision, in the end.

Niall told his back, his fiancés, his best friends, that they could put him in a collar and leash like a dog. That it was okay. And - this is why he loved them so much his heart felt heavy when he looked at them - they didn't protest. They didn't argue. They nodded, and informed the pertinent people of his decision, told everyone they were taking the afternoon off, and spent the afternoon in bed.

(What they did in bed is both incredibly private and routine. Liam and Zayn took Niall apart while Harry and Louis, who were an entity onto themselves, giggled and wrestled and caressed and moaned. And then they'd switch, Zayn with Harry, Liam leaning against the headboard as Louis playfully nipped his way on top of Niall. It was predictable and lovely as a sunrise. What else? Harry often cried as the pack edged him. Liam still got teased for the time he fell asleep when Louis blew him. Niall liked bruises but his entire pack refused to hurt him until they realized he'd hurt himself instead. So now they took turns. At the end of it all, Louis liked to kiss until his mouth was raw. They fit together like puzzle pieces, like parts of themselves weren't alive at all until they were together.)

After that interview and that sex was more interviews and their two week break. They half-heartedly planned their wedding for sometime in the future and Niall had his heat and there was another pregnancy scare and they celebrated being not pregnant with milkshakes, promising each other they'd be more careful even as Niall admitted, later that night, that he'd half-hoped he'd have their pups.

In short, it was life, and Niall tried to forget about his collar, which he'd always liked - every omega liked belonging - and now seemed so much like a shackle. But trying to forget always led to remembering, and as the days ticked by Niall couldn't help but feel he'd signed his own death sentence.

A week in India. What could go wrong in a week?


	2. Fear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the boys fly into India and things immediately do not go as planned.

  
_“Bran thought about it. 'Can a man still be brave if he's afraid?'_  
_'That is the only time a man can be brave,' his father told him.”_  
George R.R. Martin  
.***.

On the plane to India, he fought with Zayn for two hours before acquiescing to the alpha's insistence of subspace after his second near-panic attack. When he woke, Liam was there. Harry was there. Everyone was there, looking at Niall like he hung the moon.

"I told you guys," Niall protested, spying the oblong package in Louis's hand. "No more presents! I'm starting to feel like a bought bride."

"This is different," Liam insisted, sitting on Niall's other side. "Just open it."

So Niall did. And didn't understand.

It was another collar, brown and plain with his name stamped in gold on the side. Beside it in the box was a long whip of a leash. Niall blinked at the box. Lowered his eyes. Okay. He understood. While they were in India, Niall shouldn't wear the collar with their names on it, dragging his perfect British pack mates through the mud. He nodded, and reached into his pocket for his collar, the supple, simple velvet, the names of his pack like signatures. He'd had it at the ready, knowing he'd have to wear it. But this was better, right? This whole situation was his fault. The name on the collar should be his alone.

The alphas blinked at Niall's proffered collar and Louis let out a choked noise like a moan. "No no no, Niall, sweetheart, you don't have to give us your collar. You keep that."

Niall lowered his hand. "Then, why - ?"

"We thought - it could be like dress-up. This isn't really your collar. You're just playing a part. That way your real collar would still be just for us."

It was...a great idea. Niall felt almost giddy as Harry buckled the brown leather, checking over and over again to make sure he could breathe. "Who do you want to hold the leash?" Harry asked as the plane taxied to a halt.

These sorts of questions used to feel like tests. _"Who do you want to spend your heat with?" "Who's the best kisser?" "Did you like what we did last night?"_ Being a pack used to feel like a series of unanswerable questions, especially before the alphas settle into their roles. Now, though. Now Niall could choose, and know they'd all stay. "Louis," he said, unable to keep himself from looking at the alphas, still wanted to gauge the correct-ness of his answer.

"Yay!" Louis grabbed the leash and tucked it into his back pocket. "It's like those helicopter parents with their kids at Disney. No wandering off!"

Paul poked his head in the plane's cabin. "Oh good, Ni, you're all set." He cleared his throat. "Since you're the only omega this trip, there may be more security than you're used to. Don't be surprised."

Niall frowned. "What about Sandy? Or that makeup girl, Rachel?" He could think of at least half a dozen more who usually traveled with them. Omegas were a minority of the population, but Niall had always made sure that they made it a priority to hire omegas, especially ones, like Sandy, like Niall, who'd been left to fend for themselves, even in the 21st century, for not being what their parents wanted.

Paul's expression hardened. The beta was nearly pack, had fought for them before they knew how to fight for themselves. And he loved Niall. Loved every inch of him. "I thought you knew. It was decreed by the higher ups that it's an unnecessary risk to expose extra omegas to these new laws."

"That's - nice," Harry said slowly. Management was rarely nice.

Zayn saw the angle first. "They want Niall to be the only one collared and leashed. They want to isolate him."

"He won't be isolated," Paul soothed. "He'll be with you."

The trip to the hotel was - in some ways it was "same shit different day" with the girls at the airport ad the girls on the street and girls in the hotel (the girls who hadn't stopped after the pack announced their engagement, who loved them anyway, who showed up and held out signs and screamed and screamed and they all loved their fans with a particular fierceness). But in other ways it was so foreign, buildings and smells and sounds like something out of a dream. Zayn able to blend into this crowd easier than the rest, for once, the only way to spot him the tattoos. And then there were the protests.

Not everyone loved One Direction, of course, they remembered that every time they looked at their phones. Cities didn't like that the girls broke windows and destroyed stores, that they needed to lend their police force to this band from oversees. It wasn't even unusual for hate to be directed at one of them. Most often Zayn, the dangerous Muslim alpha, but sometimes "womanizer" Harry, who "cheated" on the pack once a month.

And then there were those who knew that the easiest way to get a reaction from the pack was to insult Niall, calling him untalented, or ugly, or broken. Or, like here, an undisciplined whore who needed to be put in his place. A stupid foreign tourist pushing an omega agenda.

"Can you get them out of here?" Niall heard Liam hiss. He sounded so far away.

"If they got into the hotel," Paul sighed. "Technically, right now, they're not breaking a law."

No, they were just going to send Liam's omega into a downward spiral, squirming away from Zayn's hands already, mumbling under his breath, "no, please don't," tears in his eyes, his voice a whisper, "I'll be good. Louis? Louis!"

"Sweetheart, please," Louis bundling Niall into his lap. "I'm here. You're okay. Let Zayn put you under, okay? You're scaring me."

"I'm sorry," Niall ducked Zayn's hand and trembled. "Don't leave me, Lou, I'm sorry."

On the other side of the car, Harry started to cry. Girls banged on the car windows. They were at a standstill fifty feet from the hotel. It was hot, and everyone was tired.

Liam scrubbed a hand over his face and reached deep inside himself. "Niall." He rumbled.

Louis flinched and whimpered and even Harry moaned, the command roaring through their systems. Any alpha could give one but Liam was the only one in the band who ever did. The one time Harry snapped one out at Niall, the omega had flinched and submitted on his knees and Harry went missing from three days, afraid of his own power. Zayn had never gotten the hang of it, and even when Liam described the sensation of a command, like reaching down and flipping a switch, even when he demonstrated on Niall, Zayn couldn't find that special tone. He stuck to being their omega space expert, his long tapered fingers unerring every time.

Now, here, in the car, Niall snapped his mouth shut and showered his neck to Liam, who usually would bite it. But today there was a collar at the base of Niall's pale throat, and Liam felt his stomach roll with disgust at his own gender.

Louis shook off the command first. "What the fuck you think you're doing, Payno?"

They kept alpha commands to a minimum in their pack. It was too easy to get Niall and even Louis to forget their fears and inhibitions and do something they'd regret. Liam could have ordered Niall to wear the collar here in India, but he'd always thought, and the pack agreed, that in the 21st century, in love, it was cruel to take away Niall's free will. Cruel and abusive, and Louis informed Liam early on that if the younger boy ever used an alpha command to make Niall submit to something he didn't want to do, he, Louis, would take Niall away and Liam would never, ever find him.

Liam nodded at Niall, who had stopped crying, stopped scratching his arms, stopped begging them to stay. He was sitting peacefully in Zayn's lap as the other alpha increased the pressure on his neck and whispered affirmations in his ear.

Still, Louis punched the Alpha in the shoulder. "You can't do that," he hissed. "Not here. He has too many choices taken away already."

"I'm not going to let him panic if he doesn't have to," Liam retorted, defensive, as always, in the face of criticism. "And Niall's not the only one in this pack. I won't let him upset my alphas."

"Bull _shit_ ," the beta spat the word. "Niall's the most vulnerable right now and he deserves your fucking respect."

"Lou," Harry tried, always able to placate the eldest. "Of course Liam respects Niall, he was just trying to help."

"Well, help by trying to understand how he feels instead of shutting him down. Every time you use an alpha command to stop a panic attack, he feels like he's not allowed to be upset, which obviously upsets him more. He thinks that any time he feels anything other than perfectly happy you're going to shut him down. And I guarantee that's why he agreed to this fucking place."

"I didn't put the collar on him! Of course I don't want him collared! I hate it! I hate that I can't help! But I can help with _this_!"

"Liam," Harry interjected, "Louis's right." He held up a hand when the Alpha tried to retort. "Niall has little enough control here. While we're in India, you should refrain from ordering around. Lou, stop growling, you know Liam would lay down in traffic before he hurt Niall."

"Maybe," Zayn suggested from where he was comforting their omega, "we should ask Niall how he feels."

This made everyone back down, glaring at each other, ashamed. Louis sniffed into his sleeve. "Sorry for yelling, Alpha."

Liam sighed. "I know, baby. I wish you wouldn't yell, right, but I'm glad you spoke up. He glanced at the beta. Under his thin shirt Liam knew there were faded red scratches. "Do you need to be punished?"

Betas didn't need correction like omegas did, but when Louis went too far he was glad for the absolution a punishment could offer. The beta looked between Liam and Harry. Harry, who Louis loved and trusted above all others, always delivered the beta's punishment. "I don't think I did anything wrong," Louis admitted.

Liam drew him into a kiss. Louis always tasted like tea and possibilities. "You didn't," Liam assured. "I love you."

Louis hummed and leaned into Harry, who kissed the top of his head and whispered something that made the eldest smile.

"We're almost at the hotel," Paul said, looking into the back seat for the first time. "We'll go in through the side, so hopefully there's no drama. But Niall's leash needs to go back on."

Liam nodded and put a hand on Niall's cheek. "Hey babe, good boy, can you open those eyes, beautiful? Can I see you?"

Eyelashes fluttered and Zayn cooed, too, "Babes, you're amazing."

Liam put his forehead to Niall's forehead. "You're so brave. So, so brave."

When the blue eyes opened they were almost clear.

The car was rolling to a halt as Louis slid across the car. "My Niall," he said, "do you mind putting on the leash really, really quick? It's just dress-up, remember?"

"I remember," Niall sounded old as the hills. He didn't say anything else, but he did lean forward so Louis could click the leash to the collar, and he almost smiled when Harry said, "I head a joke the other day."

The hotel was clean, lovely, and large. They had to wait for the elevator and the pack was discussing sleeping situations all around Niall. They ostensibly had three rooms but always ended up in one bed. It was decided the bed would be whichever had the best window. Zayn wondered aloud if they'd see stars.

As they got in the trundling elevator Niall's breathing hitched, but he hoped he sounded normal when he said, "what's the joke, Hazza?"

The youngest smiled. "What did the green grape say to the purple grape?"

"What?" the car asked in unison.

Harry rubbed Niall's back. "Breathe!"

So Niall nodded, and promised the others, promised himself, that he would try.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who's already taken the time to review or bookmark this crazy monster of a story. (it's actually all already written out in a tiny notebook and me trying to read my own handwriting as I type is the only explanation I can give for the myriad of typos (please point them out if you see them)). This will be the last chapter before Christmas, so happy holidays to all of you lovely people. Make the season bright.


	3. Punishment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the boys forget to talk about political things and talk about punishments instead which this author will call backstory because the Christmas lethargy is real.

  
_Power is of two kinds. One is obtained by the fear of punishment and the other by acts of love. Power based on love is a thousand times more effective and permanent then the one derived from fear of punishment._  
Mahatma Gandhi  
.***.

Niall got the first shower, taking off the collar and leash and throwing them in the general direction of the bed. He tried to get his lungs to work. He always felt slow and stupid after subspace, and after jet lag, or maybe it was just this day, this terrible day.

At least they didn't have anything scheduled until morning.

He scrubbed the plane funk out of his hair and stepped out of the shower to see Liam sitting on the counter. The Alpha smiled at the sight of Niall's body and for once the Irish boy flushed under his gaze. "Um," Niall began eloquently, plastering a smile on his face. "Maybe later, yeah, Alpha? Only, you know, I'm tired, and -"

"Oh, babe, no, I don't want - I mean, you look nice and all, but -" Liam started to reach out a hand and retracted it when Niall turned away. "I could hear you thinking, babe, so I thought we'd talk about punishment. Just us two."

Liam was always the one to assess punishment, but it was a symbiotic relationship. Omegas craved the explicit forgiveness that came with a punishment, and Liam as Alpha, leader of the pack, kept an eye on everyone and thrived in that role. He knew what worked best where, that Zayn needed to be "punished" by being made to sit on Harry's lap for a day, usually needing human contact; Harry and Louis were the opposite, ordered into isolation with each other, the two of them constantly needing reassurance that being a closed circle within their closed circle was Okay, that they all understood. Niall, though, liked physical correction. Most omegas did, biologically inclined to scratch or cut themselves if not given it safely. And that duty to dispense safe punishments fell on Liam. He loved his alphas and beta, of course, but this was a duty he'd always assigned to himself.

He knew his pack was unorthodox. They needed to agree on punishments. They were constantly on tour, for one, so something like "24 hours on Harry's lap" needed caveats - 24 hours except for on stage, or in filmed interviews. And, more importantly, Liam refused to punish any member of his pack who didn't want it. For most Alphas, it was about "I know what my pack mates need" but Liam had never pretended to know anything like that.

People were constantly surprised by this, that Niall or Louis or even the alphas could ask for punishments, or, equally, ask not to be punished, or for an alternative punishment. People never believed Liam when he said that the pack often agreed on correction anyway, that most of the time it was "yes Alpha" or "please Alpha" and both parties enthusiastically consented. But Niall needed a way to say "I can't kneel today, my knee is killing me" and Liam needed a way to say "you don't deserve to be punished, you did nothing wrong."

Which is what he said now, especially when Niall's whole demeanor shifted at the word punishment, and not in that relieved, happy way. In a closed-off way, folding in on himself. Niall came from a family that believed omegas were inferior and so should agree to any Alpha's decision, and though the band had long been loving that notion out of their Irish member, even before they were a pack, Niall was still the least likely to say "no" when he needed to. When Louis told Liam that he'd take Niall away if the Alpha made him submit to a command he didn't want, it was because Louis knew that Niall wouldn't leave himself. Not that Niall was a pushover - Liam and Louis liked to fight over "leader of the pack" but everyone in the world knew that One Direction revolved around Niall.

"Niall," Liam said, quietly. "You aren't going to be punished. Can you tell me why?"

Unexpectedly, Niall grinned. "Fuck, Li, I know I won't be punished again. I was just brooding. And wondering why you're leering at me in the shower."

"I wasn't leering!" Liam squawked immediately, though he couldn't help but watch appreciatively as the smaller boy tugged on a shirt. "But I'm glad we're on the same page. The boys are getting a kick out of ordering Indian food if you wanna. Wait - Niall?" Liam interrupted himself. "What do you mean 'again'?"

Niall paused before pulling on his pants. "You put me in subspace in public. I mean, Zayn did, but that counts as your punishment, right?"

Liam frowned. This had happened before, where they did something they considered normal with Niall that he interpreted as a punishment. So Liam knew not to try to explain until he bundled the blond into his arms.

"You want to get Zayn in on this?" Liam asked as he pulled Niall against his chest. "He smells a thousand times better than me."

Niall nose pressed into the crook of Liam's shoulder, pants forgotten on the floor. "You're doing that thing where you treat me like I"m nine, not nineteen."

"Sorry, I'm in Daddy Aftercare Mode."

"Don't need aftercare after punishment," Niall protested.

"Bullshit!" Zayn and Louis shouted at the same time.

They barged into the bathroom, Zayn clucking, Louis shoving himself between Niall and Liam. "You punished him?" Louis hissed, and though he be small his temper was mighty, especially when anyone messed with his Niall.

"What? No!"

Niall sighed. "Packs are so full of misunderstandings."

Liam rubbed the space between his eyes and asked where Harry was and was informed by a still-irate Louis that he was in one of the empty room's showers. "Go order food," Liam said, "I think I'll hop in the shower too."

He was there for all of three minutes when the curtain opened and Zayn stepped in. Sometimes (all the time) Liam was glad to have alphas who he loved as much as his beta and omega. "Thought you already showered?"

"This is about getting dirty, Lee-yum."

"Oh god, that's so cheesy!"

"Do you want a blowjob or not?"

After not-a-blowjob (the tub deemed by Liam too hard to kneel on) but something just as nice, Liam and Zayn took halfhearted bets as they toweled off. "I say 70% chance Niall's on top."

"Nah, Lou gets so dommy with him."

"They're so pretty together," Liam said happily. "Louis could have been an omega."

"We can hear you!" Harry sang.

Zayn launched himself from the bathroom the the pile of bond mates on the bed. "You ordered food?" He asked as he threw an arm around Niall.

"You two don't get any! Made Harry blush like a schoolgirl, ordering your chicken kababs with you two moaning in the background."

Liam flushed, swatting at the blond. "I don't moan."

"It's a very manly moan," Louis said with a smirk, and Liam swatted him, too.

They shoved themselves into a cuddle pile, arms thrown across chests, heads pillowed on knees and stomachs, noses in hair and necks, Niall in the middle. Some people insisted omegas smelled sweet, like candy, but Niall just smelled boyish, pine needles and sharp shampoo and sweat. "What are we going to do?" Zayn asked at last.

There was a collective sigh, as if they hadn't been thinking about it. The collars and the protests and the shows.

"It's fine," Niall insisted. "I was just surprised this morning. I'll be okay tomorrow."

"You'll tell us if you're not okay, right?" Liam reminded. "Because it's okay for this to freak you out, or make you angry-"

"You're being condescending again," Louis said in a stage whisper.

Liam shot him a wounded look and finished, "but we won't put you in subspace again. Not unless you ask us to. Until we leave iNdia you won't get punished, and if you want to be punished we'll discuss it as a pack."

Niall turned to him, his blue eyes like mirrors in the low light. His hair like a halo. He was so beautiful Liam felt his breath stick in his throat. "I'd rather treat this as any other week. I'm just wondering how we'll work around a leash on stage."

"It's not any other week," Louis chipped in. "Besides, we're phasing out physical correction anyway, remember? Trying to be proper adults and shit."

"Adults spank," Niall groused, but he knew Louis was right. As they settled into their roles, most modern alphas stopped physically punishing their bond mates, finding the practice unequal and borderline abusive. It was illegal to hit a pregnant omega in most civilized countries, and, Niall, suspected, 21st century alphas felt a bit squeemish about inflicting pain, preferring a million cups of tea and a nice chat to spanking and makeup sex.

They were quiet for a long time after that, listening to the screams outside mount. "It's going to be a good week," Niall predicted. "These fans have waited for us for years."

Harry rolled onto his knees. "I hope you're right, Nialler, I really do. That's the food, though. Lou, why don't you set up a FIFA tournament? I have a feeling we're staying in tonight."

Niall propped himself up on one elbow and watched Liam coax Zayn awake, the darker boy nodding off, as always, when cuddled. He didn't want to burst the gently moment but he needed to know. "Li, are we still practicing commands while we're here?"

Since Amsterdam, he and Liam practiced every day that art of Niall learning how to say no. Even to alphas.

Liam had his lips on Zayn's neck and still thought about Niall's request for ages. "Yeah," he said, the word drawn out and hesitant. "But we'll stop if it gets too much."

"But I get to decide if it's too much, right?"

"Niall," Harry said, putting so much food on the bed that a it blocked Niall's view of Liam and Zayn, "haven't you realized yet that we're all wrapped around your little finger?"

And Niall managed to smile, because they all looked so scared, and he grabbed one of the game controls, and he ruffled half-asleep Zayn's hair, and he and Harry fought over the naan and the pillows and the bathroom, and when Liam still looked so, so serious Niall started asking ludicrous interview questions in every accent he could think of and Zayn and Louis gave increasingly dirty answers until Liam's blush seemed apt to burn him. And through it all, Niall's collar sat in the corner of the room and all five boys carefully, studiously ignored it.


	4. Moments

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Niall has run-ins with alphas. Also lots of tea.

  
_No one really has a bad life. Not even a bad day. Just bad moments._  
Regina Brett  
.***.

Zayn followed Louis's lead and tucked the leash in his back pocket. Even though they were only going three floors down in the hotel, being in front of a host of journalists was, they'd been informed, still considered public.

"Sorry, babes," he murmured as he hooked the other end to Niall's collar.

"Not your fault," Niall said, the same thing he'd been repeating all morning. His pale hand pushed a stray strand of hair back from Zayn's forehead. "You look so tired. What were you doing, when you weren't in bed last night?"

The first camera was already being set up, so Zayn flashed a smile. "I'll tell you later. It's good, I promise."

Harry and Louis were doing their good-cop, bad-cop double charm act on the crew, and Zayn forced a smile on his face. Liam was proud - they were all proud - of being known as polite, generous, kind boys in interviews everywhere they went, and they were determined not to ruin that reputation now.

Still, for the first couple of print interviews, done through a pretty interpreter named Suhavi who had the poshest accent Zayn had ever heard, Zayn and Niall on their end of the couch became the quiet corner, smiling and answering in the shortest sentences possible as they whispered asides just loud enough to be heard down the couch.

And then the first filmed interviewer of the day came in, a short, thick Irishman with shocking red hair. The first words out of his mouth: "Oh Niall, I'm so sorry."

Zayn didn't have to see Niall's face to know the omega had crumpled. Niall could shake off rudeness and anger, had a comforting smile for sadness and a quick retort for condescension, but true sympathy broke him. When his knee acted up they'd all learned how to make him laugh and boost his confidence. If any of them talked about how sad or sorry they were for their lovely Niall, his carefully built facade would crack.

The alpha interviewer clucked and murmured some Irish and Niall whispered his reply, pressing himself into Zayn's side. The conversation continued in the baffling, beautiful language as Zayn rubbed circles in Niall's back until Niall said, in English, "no, they're amazing. They hate this collar more than I do." Niall smiled at his pack and Zayn felt his heart break with the rush of affection he felt.

The interviewer looked skeptical but still didn't nod for the camera to be turned on. "So, this is a quick interview, Niall, and I have a couple options for you. I have questions about the collar and leash situation, and I have questions for One Direction about cute One Direction things. What do you want to talk about?"

Zayn tried to convey his gratefulness to the interviewer in his enthusiastic responses as the unflappable alpha, at Niall's request, asked the same tired Twitter questions about music and girls. And so the day went on. American and European interviewers (equally split between alphas and betas, some saying as preface that "so-and-so would usually be interviewing you, she's a huge One Direction fan, but we wanted to limit the number of omegas here so you're stuck with me") offering sympathy for Niall, Indian interviewers (almost all alphas with a handful of meek betas) acting as if nothing out of the ordinary was happening at all.

It was awkward and embarrassing for Niall, for the alphas who ducked their heads in shame every time a Western interviewer glared as they entered the room. But they got through it. Louis snapped at forward interviewers under the guise of being sassy and Paul snapped at interviewers more often because he didn't care if anyone thought he was nice. In four hours there were only two problems.

The first was after Louis butted in when an alpha interviewer asked Niall, through their patient interpreter Suhavi, increasingly sexist questions about clothes and makeup. Niall answered patiently - they were all used to answering the same questions over and over - but Louis interrupted anyway, "yeah, you know, it's not like Niall's the only one of us who plays an instrument on stage or anything."

Suhavi smirked and relayed the message. She was met immediately with a spitting alpha as the interviewer yelled something that made Suhavi flush and yell back. Beta and alpha went at it so long in - Punjabi? - that soon enough the interview time was up, and Paul shepherded the irate alpha out. Niall flinched instinctively at the pheromone of Angry Alpha, but for the most part was more curious, like the rest of the band, than scared.

"What did he say?" Liam asked as the camera men packed up for lunch.

The woman hesitated, then said, "in some provinces betas would be flogged for speaking to an alpha as Mr. Tomlinson did. I reminded him that we are not in those provinces."

Louis, who had the world's worst poker face, insisted that Suhavi call them all by their first names even as he gaped. Harry spoke up for him when it was obvious he wasn't going to say anything else. "Thank you for being on our side, Suhavi."

The woman, who was almost a girl, thin but with a wide, babyish face, smoothed back her hair. "You are most welcome. I - I hope you know that not all Indians want this law. My young sister is omega. I have been protecting her all my life. The bigots have power only for this moment. But it is a terrible moment. And the downtrodden must fight harder than ever. My young sister is sixteen and never knew about this pack of singers from Britain until I was helping her improve her English by showing YouTube videos. And I am ever the older sister. I like to show her strong omegas in the world. That is when I found you, Mr - Niall."

"Amsterdam," Niall breathed, enthralled.

"Yes, but we also found your charities and omega activism. And, of course, you are surrounded by a most supportive pack." She beamed at the rest of the band, who smiled at the praise, eyes on Niall. Suhavi put a hand on the omega's arm. "This is only a moment for you, Niall, but it is a lot more than that for me and my sister. It is a hard moment, of course, but please remember that your being here is going to help more people than you could know."

Niall tried not to smile too much at the praise and instead stuck out his hand. "You went tow-to-tow with an alpha. Thank you."

Suhavi clasped his hand in both of her smooth palms. She looked at the collar, the leash, at Niall's blue, blue eyes. "Oh, Niall. Thank you."

They broke for lunch, then, and they all insisted Suhavi eat with them, exclaiming about catering, a small band of Britons who always outdid themselves when the band was far from home, trying to mitigate homesickness with tea and pot roast and the smells of their mothers' kitchens. Zayn took off the leash and Harry wrapped one of his scarves around the collar as he interrogated Suhavi about beta prejudice, omega prejudice...and then the topic changed, unable to keep up ire over cups of tea. They talked football and cricket and _Star Wars_ and eventually Niall got Suhavi relatively alone as the pack shouted amiably about the relative merits of Boba Fett. "What's your sister's name?"

Suhavi smiled in that proud, affectionate way the best people smiled when they talked about people they loved. "Sunni."

"Could you tell Sunni I'd like to meet her? And, um, if she wants - if she's not going - well, she'd be my guest at one of the concerts this week - the both of you, of course! - any show she wants. If she wants."

The interpreter had a beautiful smile. "She would love that, Niall. Thank you."

Niall shrugged and nuzzled against Harry and shouted about clones.

(The other problem Niall didn't tell anyone about, didn't want to mention as his pack argued merrily over gallons of tea, how he ducked out as soon as his leash was off - just down the hall, just to use the bathroom, and breathe without anyone looking at him like he was going to shatter. An alpha in the bathroom, not issuing a command, thank god, but tugging on his collar, whispering hot in his ear, a hand on his chest and then lower and Niall knew if he screamed his fiancés would be there in an instant and it would be another Situation to prove he was the omega the media and his parents and even his pack already saw him as. So he didn't scream. He kneed and tugged his collar out of the grip and scrambled out of the bathroom and maybe it was a testament to how this week had been, his babyish behavior, that when he wiggled close to Liam, head on his shoulder, the Alpha didn't ask what happened, or why he was crying, he just hummed and pulled Niall closer. Anyway that was a scary parentheses to an otherwise clear day, and after Amsterdam Niall refused to worry his pack about things they couldn't change, so he smiled and said nothing.)

Especially because at the end of lunch Zayn spoke up. "So," the dark boy said, "I called a few people this morning and they said that as long as we bring Niall out with the leash on, we can take it off right away when we're on stage." He ducked his head as the rest of the band stared at him. "Um, so like, he doesn't have to wear it during the show."

Niall blinked, and then launched himself at the quiet alpha. "You mean it? Who did you call? I mean, it's still gonna be real weird to be led on stage but - I can take it off? Really? Oh, Zayn!"

"It's not a big deal," Zayn looked sheepish but happy to have a lap full of Niall. "I thought maybe if I talked to the right people...and you still have to wear a collar, babes, I'm sorry."

"You're amazing," Niall said firmly. "Thank you."

"Who'd you call?" Liam asked as Niall and Louis celebrated by stacking cups a dozen high and trying to pour perfect cups of tea into each of them. "I thought the political people from back home didn't want to get involved."

They'd had a long meeting with ambassadors and other Very Important Political People who basically said that if they broke India's laws that England wasn't going to get into a tussle with their old colony by interfering.

"People," Zayn answered.

Harry had the shrewd question. "What did you have to do?"

Zayn waved a hand as if these power exchanges meant nothing, though he was usually the first to be incensed about being a pawn. "Later. Look. He's laughing."

The laugh rang in the alphas' souls like a bell, the clear peel from Niall as he clutched his stomach, face splitting with the force of his smile.


	5. Peace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the band reluctantly perform their first concert to some surprises.

  
_"Peace cannot be kept by force; it can only be achieved by understanding."_ Albert Einstein  
.***.

"Like, I don't want to sound like a whiny omega," Niall said as he looked at his hair and self in the mirror. "But this really sucks, you know?" He glanced down at the three-year-old at his feet and couldn't stop his small smile as Lux looked back at him.

"I'm gonna be omega like Ni," the toddler informed him.

Every kid looked like they could be an omega, all big eyes and soft skin and dripping cute, but less than a quarter of girl and boys ever presented that way. For girls,being an omega meant over-the-top fertility - some could have children at fifty or even sixty years old - but for boys the stigma was stronger. They, too, were fertile. Technically the ability to carry children (in packs called "pups") and perpetual childish looked were the only differences, but the rumors about male omegas, the historical social stigma, was intense. Male omegas were thought to be promiscuous, stupid, queer, and all-around incapable. Niall presenting as an omega in a mostly-alpha pack had led to unkind speculation, even in the Western press, that only increased when all five boys came out as a pack. Niall had seduced them all. Niall was breaking up One Dirction.

Usually he was the first to defend presenting as an omega, especially to children. For one, no one could control their gender (and everyone Niall knew complained about it, at least a little bit. Harry had longed to be an omega, Zayn had always considered himself a laid-back beta, Louis felt left out as a beta and had suspected he'd be an alpha instead, and even Liam, the consummate alpha, hated playing the macho role.) For another, Niall believed down to his hard-beating heart that there was nothing, nothing at all, wrong with being an omega. That it was fine and occasionally great, and all the badness that came with it came from the still-backwards part of society.

But instead he knelt and hugged little Lux. "You don't have to worry about that yet, sweetly. You won't present for a long, long time. And if you're an omega you get to be like me, but if you're a beta you get to be like your mom and Louis, and if you're an alpha you can be like Zayn."

That was the magic word and he knew it. "I'm gonna marry Zayn!" Lux exclaimed.

"No, I'm gonna marry Zayn."

"No!" Lux shouted. "I'm gonna marry Zayn!"

"All marriage proposals are accepted," Zayn said, sticking his head in the dressing room.

"Zaynie! I'm gonna be an alpha like you!" Lux ran over and hugged Zayn around the knees.

The brown boy picked her up and just smiled as the toddler immediately poked his perfectly styled hair. "You don't get to choose what to be, babes, it's a part of you. But you can choose to be a good one. and good girls sit with their mamas during shows, right?"

Zayn saw Niall grin as he put Lux down and shephereded her towards the door. When he turned around his omega was staring at his leash. "You okay?" he asked before remembering how Niall had said he was sick of saying he was fine.

Still, the younger boy answered amicably. "Oh, you know, just worried that it doesn't match my shoes." He held the rope of a leash, thoughtfully.

The rest of the pack appeared in the doorway. Five minutes to show. The crowd buzzing. "Niall," Harry reminded quietly. "You don't have to be fine."

Niall bit his bottom lip, knuckles white as he clutched the leash. "I'm gonna look like a fucking dog."

His pack looked at the ground and Niall sighed. This is why he always said he was fine. This wasn't their fault. If it was up to the band they'd cancel the shows, refund the tickets, and spend the week somewhere warm.

"It's only for the very beginning," Zayn reminded hesitantly.

"I know," Niall tried not to sigh, tried not to cry, either, and ruin his makeup. He kissed Zayn's cheek. "Show circle, right Payno?"

Even thought he whole world knew the band was together, for publicity's sake -f rot heir own sanity - they separated as much as possible the pack and the band. Backstage romance, onstage bromance.

It was a persona, to an extent, and as a member of One Direction all the boys became more confident, silly, charismatic on stage. Niall hoisted his stage face on and tried to face the leash and collar, tried to convince himself it was just more things to wear on stage.

"Come on guys," he cuffed Liam around the neck, pulled Harry's hair. "Si se puedes!"

"We're not even in Spain," Louis complained, but he was beginning to smile.

"Si se puedes!" Niall tugged one side of Harry's mouth up. "Yes we can!" The youngest member shouted back.

"I can't hear you!"

"Yes! We! Can!"

By the end of their (still, somehow) secret show circle all five boys were yelling, bouncing on chairs only to hop off of them. As Paul herded all five towards the stage Niall made a split second decision and handed Liam the leash.

"Oh, no," Liam said, hands up. "Let Lou - or Harry."

"Just make sure you don't choke me, Payno. And take it off quick as you can."

Liam swallowed hard. Nodded. Held the leash gently, so gently, between two fingers. He locked eyes with Niall, his omega, his band mate, one of his best friends, one of his fiancés - Niall who was so much more, who played guitar beautifully and danced gracefully and laughed hard and loved fiercely - Niall who had been reduced to his gender, to his collar and his leash. The countdown began, impossibly slow. "You don't have to do this" Liam said, even though he'd promised himself weeks ago he wouldn't beg, he begged anyway, would get on his knees it if worked. He was so fucking proud of his Niall for showing the world how to be brave, but God he just wanted to protect him, protect all of them. And it was getting harder by the day. "Please, Nialler, we can leave - get on a plane and be anywhere by morning. Let's go to Disney World. Please."

Niall's smile was shadowed. The screams mounted. "Aw, babe," he said, "Don't cry. It's not that bad."

Except - and maybe they all could have predicted this maybe in their heart of hearts they all knew - that it was that bad.

Harry, Louis, Zayn pecked Niall on the cheek and bounced on stage. Niall and Liam had to be more careful - the leash, the choking - and so went slower, and Niall was focused on keeping up the pace, so later he could never remember the moment when the crowd fell silent.

Sixty five thousand people going from screaming to quiet as a church was a shift so sudden it nearly bowled Niall over. Of course, there was the band, and Harry was singing the first verse, but even those sounds faltered. Chugged forward. Fell silent.

Liam's hands so steady on the clasp of the leash, easing it off, and Niall never knew what it was to feel like you could die from embarrassment. He saw: Harry holding his mic, looking in use, looking up at their band for a downbeat; Louis coming closer already so fast,ready to hold Nill through the shaking; and Liam, lovely Liam whose heart was all over his face, in ears. And on the big screens. the cameras shifting. Focusing.

In the crowd were hundreds - thousands - of collared and leashed omegas.

His leash fell away, Liam handing it to Louis, who handed it to someone off stage. He blinked at the screens. Kept blinking. Film in front of his eyes. His microphone was so heavy in his hands. no one was singing but the lights were bright. Focused on him. Everyone focused on him.

Niall lifted his face to his pack. He felt strangely guilty, knowing he was exempt from a rule his fans had to follow, and he had to fight the compulsion to explain himself to the girls. Instead, he lifted his mic to his mouth. "Hello, New Delhi! it's so good to finally be here!"

It fell flat in the silence, their usual start-of-show line, and later Niall thought perhaps that was the reason he did what he did. Because of the quiet.

He closed his right hand, the hand without the mic, over his head. Stuck out index and middle finger. V for Victory. His mother always said. V for peace.

Perhaps they'd all seen too many Hunger Games films. Immediately, as if this was planned, Louis, Liam, Harry and Zayn raised their own peace signs. Niall couldn't see much of the crowd but on the screens the whole stadium seemed to be doing it. Peace. Peace. Peace.

And then - the roar as the crowd surged to life. A downbeat. Harry sang.

Liam's usual whisper was a shout. "Good idea, Niailer!"

But Niall barely heard him. It was time for his verse, time for him to take center stage and sing.

After the show, the amazing show, Niall danced off stage and snagged his phone from Paul. He always had so many noticication, but this mess only happened when he was trending. He noticed a message from Sandy, a screen shot obviously taken from Twitter of the show tonight, peace signs in the air, the band center in the background under the lights.

It had always been nice to have another omega on stage, and he found himself missing not just Sandy but everyone, all the everyday interactions he was used to having with omegas. the "pass the salt" stuff rather than the activism thing.

A hand on his shoulder and Niall turned, expecting one of his alphas or Louis. "Oh, hey Mikey."

He hadn't seen much of the 5 SOS pack since they landed in India, the foursome able to move around the countries they visited with relative ease. And it was a pack of without an omega. Three betas and Ashton, who was such a laid back alpha he may as well be a beta.

Michael ran a hand through his now-pink hair. "You're trending again."

"I noticed," Niall tugged at the collar and looked for his bandmates, who had been caught near the stage by a couple of suits.

Before he knew what was happening, Michael had slipped the collar off, tossing it on top of a nearby speaker. "Fucking - Ni, you've got to stop rubbing your neck, you're going to bleed."

"Not used to collars."

"Course you're not. Which is why we want you to come out with us tonight. No collars. No boyfriends. Just lads. We'll play footie."

Niall raised an eyebrow. There were days when he wanted a breather from his often overprotective pack, when he needed pints with lads, and when he was touring 5sos were always his first choice. The Austrailians were passionate but easy going, carefree as birds. Still he usually "asked" (aka "told") his alphas when he was going out. "No collars?" He made sure.

"We won't be in public. Just set up in the first field we find." Michael glanced at the rest of One Direction. "You have about three seconds to decide."

He wanted to talk to the boys about the show, wanted to curl up in bed and eat fried food and talk about the concert play-by-play. But. They'd ask him how it felt to walk out in a collar and leash, to be led by his Alpha like a pet. And Niall wasn't forthcoming with his feeling at the bed of times. He'd been with his fiancés exclusively since before the break; he never went back to Ireland anymore. And though he had London friends, he found he needed his, needed to talk about football and not collars.

By the time his bandmates extracted themselves from the suits, he was gone.


	6. Relationships

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which not all is well in love or war. Or: the chapter where communication kind of sort of starts to break down and fault lines appear.

  
_The best relationships are the ones that press on through the darkness. They are the people that look at each other and see the broke and hurt and say "you are worthy."_

C.C. Jung

.***.

The field they found was in a park one block from the hotel. It was awesome. No girls. No paps. Just a few late night couples and scraggly grass. There was an argument over which team got Calum, far and away the best player. "I'm having a bad week!" Niall said, koalaing his body around the bassist.

"He's in our band!" Ashton protested, pulling Niall off so he could hug Calum.

"How about," Calum suggested, "I just stay in the goal?" He drew a box as the teams separated, Michael and Niall, Luke and Ashton. Niall threw his head back and looked at the smudged Indian sky. He had barely been outdoors at all since they landed in this country. The air was warm and heavy but the cool breeze seemed to flow directly on his bruised and chaffed neck, soothing relief. From far away were the screams of the girls outside the concert, but here there was chattering bugs and a pack, not his own, whooping in the semi-darkness.

The ball hit his chest and Luke barreled towards him. "Come on, Nialler, you can take him!"

He didn't think about the girls or the lost collar or even his pack during the hour-long game in the open air. Later, he'd try to feel bad about that, being carefree while his fiancés worried. He'd try, but he couldn't quite regret that taste of freedom. His pack could remind him over and over that he deserved equality, but experiencing it in person, in India, made it possible for him to get back on stage the next day.

After an hour Niall was truly exhausted, and none of them had remembered to bring water. He sat down on the sparse grass and watched Calum dribble and score under the dark purple clouds. Ashton held out a hand to him. "Ready to go back?"

He wasn't. He knew the others would be angry at him - he deserved it, they'd all been so kind and instead of telling them he felt smothered by their gentleness he just pissed off. And going back meant a collar and a leash and six - God - six more shows.

On the walk back the 5sos boys surrounded him just in case anyone spotted the foreigners on the dark street. Michael kept opening his mouth, as if he wanted to say something important. Instead, he just asked Niall, "You're going to be okay this week, right?"

"Not you, too," Niall took a deep breath. "The guys are already on my case."

He saw a muscle in Ashton's jaw twinge, but was glad when the alpha let the moment pass, just watched as Niall joined Luke in pressuring Calum to quit the band and go pro as a footballer. But Ashton couldn't stop himself from walking Niall up to his room.

Inside, Louis and Harry were wrapped around each other on the bed, Zayn curled on the floor, Liam with his back against the wall next to him carding a hand through the other alpha's freshly washed hair. Even Zayn opened an eye when Niall walked in.

Though Niall had desperately needed his moments of freedom, the first words out of his mouth were - had to be - "I'm sorry."

Liam sighed. Harry bit his lip. Zayn closed his eyes. Louis held out an arm and Niall thought perhaps forgiveness was that easy. But the beta just pointed. "You need a shower, Niall."

No nickname. No warmth in his tone. Niall ducked his head as he stepped softly into the bathroom.

Ashton shifted in the doorway. "Guys, he just needed a break."

Zayn made a noise like a growl. "Alpha to Alpha," Liam said, "you gotta understand how worried we've been."

"Liam's going grey," Louis added, eyes closed.

"I hear you, but your worry is making him anxious as hell. He needed a night - not even a night! - he needed an hour."

"Just call," Harry's voice so pleading it was nearly a whine. "I get that we might be a little overbearing, but after the show he just disappeared."

Ashton scrubbed a hand over his face. "Mikey didn't tell you we were stealing Ni?"

The four other boys shook their heads. Zayn huffed, "You need to control your betas."

"You know they're not mine to control."

Unlike One Direction, 5 Seconds of Summer wasn't really a pack. They let everyone assume they were together, let speculations fly about the pack dynamics (all four together? two pairs? did it even work without an omega?) but really they were just friends. Really good friends who found the incessant shipping hilarious. They dated discreetly or not at all. And though Ashton was an alpha, he wasn't the boys' alpha. He stepped in when people sneered at the betas (who were not his pack but were his best friends, fuck you very much) but it happened so rarely that for the most part all four boys were more than happy to put gender aside. Their privilege as non-omegas.

Zayn fired Ashton a Look. "Try."

The drummer frowned and looked about to snap back when Louis interrupted. "Stop. Just stop."

Zayn's head thumped back on the floor and Ashton folded his arms over his chest. "You're not going to punish Niall, are you? Cuz - he was happy. He's allowed to be happy, even if it's not with you."

"What you did was reckless," Liam put a hand on Zayn's chest. "If you won't put your foot down with those betas, I will. I'll cancel these shows before I let you hurt my pack."

" _Those betas_ would die before they hurt Niall!" Ashton couldn't help his shout. "You know that!"

Liam frowned. "Niall's not the only one in this pack. This is your warning. You put another one of my fiancés in danger this week and I'll make sure we're separated until we're out of this goddamn country. You'll take care of yours and I'll take care of mine."

Ashton looked like he wanted to retort but bit his lip in the face of the older Alpha's wrath. Instead, he glanced at the closed bathroom door. "He's not okay." He took a deep breath. "This week needs to be a group effort. He needs as many people on his side as possible."

Liam's expression remained stony. Ashton imagined one of his beta bandmates disappearing in this charged atmosphere. He'd rip whoever was responsible limb from limb. He swallowed what was left of his pride. "Thank you for giving us another chance. We won't let you down."

Harry spoke up from the bed. "Thanks for bringing him back to us, Ash. Good night."

The Aussie knew a dismissal when he heard one. He closed the door quietly as he left.

Louis spoke up. "Zayn, if you can't calm down, why don't you go into one of those empty rooms. We'll come get you in a bit."

Zayn glared at the beta. "I'm comfortable right here."

"God," Liam groaned. "I have such a headache."

Niall slipped out of the bathroom and padded over to Liam, handing him two aspirin. He gave two to Harry, who only lay on his stomach if his back hurt. Niall himself took two for his knees, which never seemed to stop aching anymore. "I'm sorry," he said again, "I know I shouldn't run off, and I especially shouldn't run off without telling anyone, especially since you've all been so - perfect. I know we said no punishments this week but this deserves one. I'm reckless and stupid. And I'm sorry. Please forgive me."

When none of his pack replied, Niall slipped to his knees.

"Get up!" Louis snapped. "Do you want to maim yourself?"

"Sorry," Niall mumbled again, wincing as he stoop back up.

"I'm gonna get you bionic knees," Louis swore, mostly to himself. "And they'll have a lock feature so I can stop you from running away." He absently rubbed Harry's back.

"Do you know why we're angry?" Harry asked.

"Because..." Niall thought he'd covered this already. His hands were shaking. They all looked so disappointed. "Because I'm stupid and reckless and I run away instead of talking about my problems. And India's kind of scary."

"You're allowed to need space," Harry reminded him. "But - fuck, Nialler, if we're at a concert and you suddenly disappear, how are we not supposed to think it's Amsterdam all over again?"

Niall clasped his elbows behind his back. His whole body was shaking now. "I - I didn't think about that, Haz. I'm sorry."

"Stop apologizing," Louis said quietly. From the floor, Zayn humphed.

Niall's mouth clicked shut. "I thought you saw me and Mikey," he wasn't supposed to get defensive with his alphas, but he just hadn't thought...

He'd been kidnapped from the concert in Amsterdam and drugged. He didn't remember anything from those 24 hours. Didn't remember being raped or put on the auction block. Didn't even have nightmares about it (the mandatory psychologist he saw After didn't believe him, but it was true, when he thought of Amsterdam the last thing he remembered was submitting to an alpha command he didn't want).

But his pack hadn't been drugged. His pack remembered. Somewhere, Niall thought Liam probably still had the file his kidnappers had sent to his fiancés. Niall never went looking for it. Once, when Louis was drunk, he sobbed about what he'd seen on that file. The gang rape. The way Niall kept begging until their names rolled into one "LiamLouisHarryZayn help me, please! I'll be good!" Louis stopped talking after that. The pack had nightmares. But Niall didn't remember a thing.

There weren't enough I'm sorries in the world. "Oh, Hazza..."

Harry buried his face back into the bed and Louis began rubbing his back for real. Liam spread his fingers. "Do you really think a punishment would help?"

"Will you give me one?"

Liam didn't even think about it. "No."

"No," Niall said, "I don't think it would help. I think all the bad I feel? I think it's this place. And disappointing you guys. But mostly - this place."

"How did you feel about the show?" Louis asked as he dug the heel of his hand into Harry's shoulders. "You're trending on Twitter, by the way. Fucking brilliant, that peace sign."

Niall ducked his head at the praise and Zayn snapped, "We're just going to let him get away with this?"

Niall bit his cheek so he wouldn't say I'm sorry again. The rest of the pack stared at Zayn.

"He just gets to scare us to death?" Zayn seethed, glaring at everyone but especially at Niall, who felt small in the face of the anger on his alpha's face. "This is the first fucking show and he's already fucking off!"

Louis leaned off the bed. "Are you seriously going to talk about Niall like he's not right in front of us?"

"We're getting too old for punishments, Zayn," Harry explained for about the billionth time, propping himself on his elbows. "They don't make Niall feel better anymore."

"Makes me feel better!" Zayn snarled. "Damn you Niall!"

"I'm sorry," Niall didn't know when he got on his knees again, but his heart was everywhere, _oh god,_ it rang _oh god, he's mad at you and they don't love you any more and your parents don't love you and no one loves you and you're just a person on a leash, you're not even a person, he doesn't love you._ "Zayn, please, I'm sorry."

At the same time, Liam hissed, "Zayn, with me!" and hauled Zayn past Niall and out of the room.

After the door closed, Harry slipped onto the floor and bundled Niall into his arms. "Zayn's right," even his voice shook, or was he crying already? Poor baby Niall always blubbering about something. "I need to be punished."

Harry ignored him, trying to think of something else to say that wasn't this nasty, twisted feeling over and over. "Have you seen the pictures from tonight?"

He pulled out his phone and handed Niall off to Louis as he scrolled through the tag from the show. The first one from Page Six. Niall, head down, leash held lax in Liam's hand. Beneath it, Niall, moments later, chin up, peace sign up, the only name around his neck his own.

"You look amazing," Harry said, quietly.

"I look rebellious."

Louis's arms tightened around his waist. "The world needs rebellion. This pack needs rebellion. It's one thing to say your gender doesn't make you any less than non-omegas. But you're showing it. The only think you did wrong tonight was running off and hurting those knees."

Niall ducked his head. "That's not the only thing."

He slid his phone out of his pocket. He'd turned it off, not because of the incessant notifications. He switched it on now. Handed it to Louis, who quickly found what he was looking for.

"How many times have you listened to this?" The beta didn't listen to the voicemail himself. It was four minutes long, disappointment radiating from half a world away.

"Only once. I know you guys don't like me talking to them."

Harry and Louis exchanged one of those Looks that Niall knew so well, the look that proved they were made for each other and Niall was just extra. Harry spoke, slow as always. "It's not that we don't want you to talk to your parents, Ni. We just wish they were able to accept you. And since they can't..."

"Your parents spent your whole childhood filling your head with all the ways omegas are inferior. And, yeah, they didn't know you'd be an omega, but we've spent years trying to undo that damage, and they've spent those years adding to it."

"Whatever that message says?" Harry finished gently, "it's wrong."

Niall couldn't bear Harry's gaze. "You haven't even listened to it yet." He flicked his eyes to the door. "And now Zayn's mad, too."

Louis groaned and flipped onto his back. Harry held out his arms. "Ni-babe, let's cuddle."

The blond hesitated. "I'd prefer punishment."

"Maybe lack of punishment can be your punishment," Louis suggested to the ceiling.

"And you know me," Harry flashed the smallest smile. "I'm no good at that stuff. I'm in it for the cuddles."

Eventually they climbed onto the bed, after Niall rubbed Harry's back and Harry and Louis double teamed his knees. They fell into a heap and Niall apologized more and Harry and Louis accepted his apology, and they were all so tired but Niall pressed a kiss to both of their necks anyway, loving them so much for letting him leave and letting him come back and promising to do better tomorrow. And it felt good, their love, it felt like both forgiveness and permission. Permission to not be okay. Forgiveness for not being able to allow them to help him. They twined limbs and Niall tried his very hardest not to miss the two who weren't there.


	7. The Same Everywhere

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Niall wakes up hoping things have changed for the better and could not be more wrong.

  
_“People are always afraid of anything different. They are afraid of change," says Sensai. "It is the same everywhere.”_  
Sandy Fussell  
.***.

Paul shook Niall awake three hours after he fell asleep. Harry didn't even stir, but Louis held Niall tighter and glared at their tour manager. "If anyone wants to yell at him they're yelling at me."

Niall tilted his head so he could kiss his favorite beta's neck even as he wiggled away. "I'll be okay. Keep Harry company."

Louis patted Niall's already messy hair and curled into the warm space the blond vacated. "Love you."

Niall was already pulling on his clothes and said through the shirt. "Love you, too."

It was only when Louis had slipped back to sleep that Niall remembered he didn't know where his collar was. Paul had the leash and was waiting outside the door, but the new collar, the dress-up make-believe collar, was no where to be seen. He zipped open his bag and found the box, the beautiful velvet box with his beautiful velvet collar. He ran his hand over Zayn's name and deftly clasped it around his own neck.

Even the soft fabric chafed at the sores on his throat, but he didn't have time to tend to them now, ducking his head when Paul clicked the leash to the hook of the collar. "Do you think I'll have to wear this crap in the meeting?" Niall asked, words loud in the deserted hallway.

"My guess? Probably."

Niall thought about it. "That doesn't seem very fair."

Paul let out a barking laugh without humor. "I'll be there, kid. You'll be okay. Anyway, what can they be mad about? You haven't done anything wrong."

"Yet," Niall added, hoping for humor as they made their way carefully down the hall and elevator and hall again.

"Sorry for waking you," a familiar female voice said as soon as Niall stepped into the meeting room. Sarah the Management beta tried to hand him a cup of coffee, but the thought of the drink on an empty stomach made Niall blanch and wave it away. "I thought it best to get this over with."

Her eyes focused on the leash and Niall had thought that he'd get over the embarrassment. Not yet. "Is it just us?" he asked.

"And me," a silky alpha voice. Caleb and his rough London accent had always given Niall the creeps. He was a tall, angular, old fashioned alpha who tried to keep the pack in the closet and faked affairs. He was scummy but harmless. "Let's get right to it, Niall. What you did tat the show last night was a little dramatic for our tastes. Good one-off thing, but in the future let's try not to flip off the government - any government - with a thousand iPhones pointed at us."

"It was a peace sign!" Niall protested. The leash jerked and he gulped as his collar tightened. He yelped, glaring at - but Paul no longer had the leash. Caleb had taken it.

Paul growled. "If I need to wake his alphas, I will. And if you tug on that leash again I'll break your hands."

"I just need to get his attention," Caleb leered. "Anyway, that little defiance that the concert wasn't our main problem. This leash," he tugged, just a little, and even the Management beta growled, "is the problem. You haven't been very careful about wearing it, Niall, and someone saw you in the park. Unleashed. With the wrong pack. I have the pictures, and they can get you into a lot of trouble." He smirked when Niall frowned. "I wanted to tell you alone so you understood how serious this is. An unleashed omega can be jailed. Most die in prison. Should these pictures get out, I couldn't guarantee we'll be able to bribe ourselves out the mess."

Niall glared. It was getting easier against alphas, thanks to all his practice with his fiancés. "Why would they get out if you have them?"

Caleb shrugged. "Maybe they won't. Maybe we got all of them. But there's no guarantee you weren't seen by anyone else, is there?" He got closer to Niall, breath hot on his cheek. "But you won't be trending after this trip, and even if your Western fans don't care about collars they do care about one little omega being shuttled between two packs - they care about that a lot."

Niall pulled away from the alpha. "Fine. I'm warned. If I could go back to sleep now?"

Caleb reached for Niall's wrist but Paul got there first. "You don't want to do that," he warned.

So instead, Caleb waved a deceptively careless hand. "Keep on that leash, Niall. Even in the hotel. We wouldn't want to lose our precious omega again this tour."

Niall wanted to growl but let Paul and Caleb exchange insulted instead as Niall backed up into Sarah. "Are you sure you don't want a coffee before you go? Or some breakfast. I smelled eggs on the way up."

Niall hesitated. He had wanted to go to Zayn, wake his sleepy fiancé and apologize again, coax him into a video game to pass the time until rehearsal, but to get there he'd with have to take off the fucking leash despite Caleb's warnings or get someone to take him.

"I saw those 5sos boys awake. They have the morning show circus today."

Sarah grinned, and that settled it. He'd eat some pancakes and ask Luke or Calum to take him up to Zayn and he'd go back to sleep there. Rehearsal wasn't until eleven, so he'd get another couple hours in.

The Management girl - thank god - melted away once they got up to breakfast. Niall fumbled with the not-lax leash until long, guitar-calloused fingers pulled it off for him. "You're up early," Luke said, handing the leash back to Niall.

"Got pulled out of bed for a meeting," Niall grumbled. "Anyway, look who's talking."

Luke grinned and chatted about his band's blistering schedule of interviews as he made up a plate of pancakes and fruit for Niall and led him over to the table where his bandmates drooped over coffees.

Michael nudged Niall as he sat. "Ash told us you had some drama last night. You okay?"

Niall looked at the drummer. "Drama?"

"Liam told me to keep my betas under control." Calum snorted and Ashton continued. "Or he'd stop us from seeing you. Whatever, it's all Alpha bullshit. Are you really okay?"

"Um - yeah. I mean, they didn't punish me."

"Thank god," Mikey sighed in relief and Niall had to stop himself from rolling his eyes. He really missed having omegas around, omegas who understood that punishment was liberation, not judgement. "I wasn't looking forward to messing with Liam."

"Anyway, that's not what I meant," Luke said, "are you okay being here? We never really talked about, you know, India and stuff last night."

Niall cut up the pancake so he didn't have to face their worry. "It's - a little worse than I thought." The other band looked so panicked and _damn_ no one but Louis made Niall feel so protective. "But I can handle it."

Luke hooked an arm around Niall's neck and kissed his hear. It was nice. Omegas were programed to want affection and betas and alphas were programmed to give it. Niall melted at the touch.

They stayed there for a while, and then it was 5sos's turn to be herded elsewhere and Niall realized he'd never asked - "Hey, Luke? Before you guys go, can you do me a favor..."

He led the youngest boy towards the door, calling his thanks to Mark, Amanda, Constance, their British breakfast makers. "Can you walk me up to Zayn's room?"

"Niall, I think you're a big boy, you can - " Luke choked on his next words as Niall took the long leash from his pocket. The Aussie's eyes almost comically wide. "Ni - I can't..."

"It's easy," Niall smiled. "Please? I need to get upstairs."

"Even in the hotel?"

Niall pushed the smile wider. "That meeting this morning? One of the things they said was about the leash."

Luke hesitantly took the other end. "Why me?" He asked quietly. Poor kid was really just a kid.

The omega smiled in that special way that broke everyone's hearts. Sunny and bright. "Zayn gets jealous and you're cute and tiny."

"I've got five inches on you," Luke grumbled, but he took the leash, and started walking.

Niall knocked on the first empty room's door. No answer, but down the hall another door opened as Liam, freshly showered, stuck his head out. "Niall?" Eyes narrowing. "Luke."

"He asked me to bring him!" Luke dropped the leash and put up his hands. "Um. See you later, Nialler."

"Play nice in the interviews, Lukey. And - thank you." Niall waved as the singer backed away.

When he turned, Liam was there, taking off the leash. "Zayn awake?" Niall asked.

"Nah, we had a late night. Were you okay with just Lou and Harry?"

Niall nodded absentmindedly. "I probably shouldn't wake him."

"It's not recommended," Liam looked at the leash in his hand. "What am I supposed to do with this?"

"Caleb said to be more careful."

Liam blanched. "I hate Caleb," because they all hated Caleb, hated the condescending way he spoke to them, hated his games and his resentment at their engagement. "He's always such an ass to you and Louis. Please tell me someone else was in this meeting."

"He was no more of an ass than usual, but apparently I have to keep the leash on at all times." Niall tried to think of a way to make the tense alpha smile. "It's pretty kinky."

"After this week if I never see a leash again it will be too soon."

"You're telling me."

And suddenly he was engulfed in Liam, one of those strong and sure Liam hugs that Niall could never get enough of. "Aw, babe, this is throwing everyone off, and we keep forgetting you."

"Really?" Niall said ruefully, "I feel like you guys have revolved around me since we got here."

Liam chewed his lip. "If you want to practice alpha commands, we should."

It was Niall's turn to wrap his boyfriend around the waist. "Thank you."

They went into the last empty room and Niall peeked at the window. A crowd. A summer sun. A city of browns and reds and golds. "Niall," Liam said pulling the leash through his hands as he spoke in that strong shivery voice that went straight to Niall's stomach, a warm weight. "Give me a kiss."

Niall tossed a grin over his shoulder. "It can't be something I want to do anyway," and because it was so easy to follow his instinct and he needed easy right now, he did.

Liam's lips in his hair, a command shimmering from his throat. "Get on the windowsill."

He'd be visible on the sill. There'd be pictures, more pictures, pictures of him without his leash. His second thought - that his hair looked horrid. "No," he mumbled as he edged towards the window.

Liam swallowed hard but his alpha command rang. "Niall. Get. On. The. Windowsill."

Niall wanted this week to go as smooth as possible. He wanted to get married. He wanted to get out of this country without breaking the Indian omega laws. "No."

"Niall -"

"No!" Niall planted his feet, hands on his hips, tongue out.

Liam tackled him onto the bed and Niall was reminded in kisses on his cheeks and ears and eyelids. The Irish boy had never been so happy to wake up early.

After, he was grinning and fucked out and he felt like a proper young man who started his long mornings in a hotel room with a fiancé having completely necessary sex. He kissed Liam's shoulder as he put his head on the alpha's chest. He didn't expect his pillow to move so soon.

"No no, don't get up. I'm just gonna go wake Zayn - don't do that, Ni, of course I want you to come, but you know Zayn's not at his nicest first thing. We'll meet you at rehearsal, okay babe?" he ruffled Niall's hair. "I love you."

He knew his smile was all kinds of forced, but Niall lived by the motto _fake it til you make it_. "I know," he said back just for the pleasure of watching Liam smile before walking out the door.


	8. Let It Be

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which a strange alpha threatens everyone Niall loves and the band kisses and makes up.

  
_If everyone demanded peace instead of another television set, then there'd be peace._  
John Lennon  
.***.

They'd landed in India Thursday. Friday night, Niall snuck out. Saturday was rehearsals and a nighttime show but no interviews. Saturday night, Liam and Zayn went off on their own again and Niall stuck with Louis and Harry. Zayn hadn't really spoken to him, not during lunch or the show, and a part of Niall was glad Zayn was mad, that at least someone was behaving normally this week, but of course Niall mostly wished they could all snuggle together, eating real Indian food and talking about the bizarre shows (so many omegas on leashes, Niall couldn't look at the big screens, he cried every time he saw the sweet dark-skinned pre-teens treated like animals. _There but for the grace of god_ , he said to Harry and Louis that night, and the boys had run out of reassurances and showered Niall in hugs and stories and jokes instead.)

Sunday was two shows, matinee and evening, and Niall slipped out of the room early, very aware of poor Harry and Louis, who would never ever admit they needed time alone, who shared a soul, must share a soul, their connection innate and golden and good, nurtured by the rest of the pack when the couple couldn't nurture it themselves. They hadn't said anything but omegas knew these things, their biological imperative to please.

Sundays everyone had a lie-in. Niall knew there was a brunch planned that wouldn't start for hours, but didn't remember that until he was standing in the ballroom-kitchen-turned-One-Direction's-ballroom-kitchen.

He hadn't been alone in days, someone always two feet away on the other end of the leash. But this was a closed-in room. No windows. Niall sank into one of the folding chairs and blinked away exhaustion. He hadn't slept much. He'd been plagued by nightmares his whole life and never missed his diminutive Irish mother more than after one of them. She used to hold him in the night while he cried. She used to sing "Let It Be" and hold him tight.

Niall swiped at his wet eyes and sucked in a deep breath. Brunch wasn't for hours but he was hungry _now_. Surely there was bread or fruit somewhere in the kitchen.

He filled the kettle and put it on top of the stove while he found some bread and jam, rummaging through the cabinet, peering at foreign jars. He didn't realize he was humming the Beatles until a voice behind him said, "that's a lovely sound."

Niall whirled and instinctually ducked his head in deference to the unknown alpha. "Good morning," he was alone with help far, far away, so he added, "sir. I'm sorry if I'm not supposed to be here..."

The man waved his apology away. "It is all okay Niall Horan." He chuckled at the look of surprise. It was a nasty sound. "You think I do not know the name of the famous omega staying in my hotel? I know the famous omega here, stirring up trouble."

Niall had started edging towards the door as the man stepped closer. "My alphas..."

"Everyone is asleep, and your alphas are no good. No good at putting a disobedient omega in his place." A hand on his wrist and Niall tried to wrench it away as the man steered him back towards the stove, hot from the boiling kettle.

"Stop," the man said in an Alpha command, but Niall had practiced this. He kicked the man in the shin and wrenched his arm again -

Agony. He'd been burned before but not like this as the alpha pressed him back, pressed his back onto the hot burner. Niall _screamed_.

And the man let him go.

Niall sank to the floor, back arched, and he wished he could glare at the alpha, knew that Liam or Louis or Harry or Zayn would glare, wouldn't be on the floor in the first place, were strong enough to defend themselves against _anything_. Unlike Niall, who cowered and cried.

The alpha didn't leave. "Usually in India we do not hurt rich omegas. In India we kill their omega friends. Their beta friends."

Niall looked up to a blurry world. Saw the alpha's head cock. Come closer. "My friends know you, Niall Horan. Your omega Sandy in London. Those three betas in that band. But -" his face so close Niall could feel the heat from the alpha's skin. "I do not believe drastic measures need to be taken, Niall Horan. I believe you know you deserve this punishment, and will continue to deserve it. India has finally become the nation it needs to be. No foreign omega will ruin our progress."

Niall lowered his head and jerked it back up when the whistle for the kettle screamed. It had only been five minutes. The only thing he had to prove the interaction happened the burn throbbing on his back and the desperate need to get Sandy out of London, to get Mikey, Callum, Luke, anywhere but here, to be anywhere but here, crying on a grimy floor.

He poured the cup of tea and tried to convince himself that what he felt was all fear, for himself and his friends and his poor pack who had already been through so much, just fear and not a nugget of sweet relief for finally, finally, being punished for all his fuckups this week.

The tea was poured, the toast made, a hopefully unalarming but strongly worded text sent to Sandy, when Zayn slipped next to him at the table.

"Hey, babes."

Niall bit his cheek. They hadn't spoken for two days but it felt like longer and Niall had felt lonely without Zayn smirking next to him. He waited until his so-so beautiful boyfriend sat across from him and looked up through his so-so beautiful eyelashes. "I'm sorry," Zayn whispered.

"It's okay."

"It's not. I shouldn't, like, yell at you. You shouldn't get punished just because I feel like it. And I've been so embarrassed. It's why I didn't come and talk. I want to just take it back. I hurt you."

"It's really - I'm just glad you're here. Even at seven in the morning."

Zayn heard the implied question. "I thought I felt you. Through the bond. Which is still so, like, weird, right? Are you okay?"

The burn pulsed like an angry thought but Zayn was here, and everything else would work itself out now. So Niall leaned across the table and kissed and kissed and kissed and Zayn kissed him back, and for the first time Niall thought that maybe this forgiveness was better, cleaner, simpler than crying and guilt and punishments (and maybe he thought that because his last punishment was scarring on his back and it was awfulwrongpain and Zayn was sleepy sweet.)

Sometime after Zayn, Lux ran in (followed by Lou) begging for kisses and pony rides - Niall let Zayn take the pony rides (he could hide a burn, right? He'd hidden from his band before...) Then came Liam, Paul, Harry, Ashton, Luke, Michael, Calum, Louis, and everyone else, their traveling band of misfits, and someone brought a guitar, and while waffles and bacon and eggs sizzled Niall sat in the middle of it all, unbelievably, uncontrollably, happy, and he tucked the shirt down and he sang, they all sang, Paul and 5sos and Lux and catering and his pack, his lovely fiancés. They sang even though there was their third and fourth shows today and they were exhausted, they sang a lot of things but one song especially, over and over:

"I wake up to the sound of music, Mother Mary calls to me, whisper words of wisdom - let it be."


	9. Care

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Niall is hurt and there are the inevitable misunderstandings.

  
_"You care so much you feel as though you will bleed to death from the pain of it."_  
Albus Dumbledore  
.***.

Niall decided to think of this as just another bad job. They'd all had hem, terrorist signs at concerts with Zayn's face on them, men and women alike in interviews hitting on Harry, even when he was underage, Liam and Louis's lives so gendered, judged only by Alpha and beta statuses. There had been bad jobs before and there'd be bad jobs after and usually Niall was the one to lift the mood of the group. It was a responsibility and a privilege. It wasn't that hard.

(He'd spent a week, a terribly long and nerve-wracking week, hiding his late presentation as an omega from his bandmates. That's another story, but it was where Niall learned how to bury the bad and smile.)

After their third and fourth concerts (where they smashed it, thank you very much) they curled together as a pack. Niall told everyone that he more than loved cuddling but sex was too much right now, their days so long. He'd kept his pack out of his shower, too, though he'd made sure to clean and dress the burn, he wasn't stupid, he just didn't need to worry his pack, not now when things were getting back to normal. So they cuddled all together and all made an effort to talk about More Important Things, like whether humans would ever inhabit asteroids, and what to name their children, and the wedding.

The morning, even, seemed better than the other mornings. They still didn't leave the hotel, never left the hotel except to be shuttled down the block to the venue and back, but somehow today was okay. Monday morning interviews were always so chipper.

"Do you guys enjoy the food?" a lithe Indian alpha asked.

Liam, bless him, answered as if they hadn't been asked the same question three times this hour. "Well, you know there's actually a lot of Indian food in the UK, so we're all pretty used to it. Except Niall, of course, but he's been in London for - what, Love? Three years now? So, yeah, we're used to it. The food's better here, though, of course."

"Of course," the woman flashed a smile, all teeth, and turned to Niall who was sat between Louis and Harry today, the beta once again holding the leash. "Niall, I hear you're mostly based in London now. For the food, right?"

Niall had sworn to himself when he first came out that he'd answer this question honestly. This small bit of activism, of spreading the word. "Ireland has the best food, hands down," because in spite of it all he was an Irish lad through and through, "but, you know, I moved to London after I presented as an omega. I was already in One Direction, so I wasn't really home much, but, you know, my parents made it clear that they didn't want an omega for a son." Louis rubbed his back at that. Louis who was so close to his own mother he couldn't fathom life without a mum's love. "It happens a lot, omegas being kicked out or worse by their parents." He'd ask the interviewer after to link to the omega hep websites and phone numbers, but he wanted to end on a lighter note. "But the real reason to be in London is to get my stupid fiancés to actually plan our wedding."

He held out his left hand. They didn't always wear their rings, simple gold bands, but it was one type of belonging Niall had always loved.

And it worked. The rest of the interview was spent on wedding plans, and for once Niall was happy to answer, smiling, laughing, turning on that switch inside himself that made every alpha adore him.

After, Louis squeezed his hand. "You're so brave, Nialler."

There were about a million omegas braver than Niall but less famous, which reminded him - he called Sandy, who'd never texted him back, and left a voicemail He tried to sound nonchalant as he urged the older man to crash anywhere else, at Niall's flat, with an ex, at a hotel, anywhere by home. "Please," he said, and hung up before he could bare any more truths.

He didn't honestly think a creepy alpha could hurt his friend around the world, and Niall was very good at compartmentalizing. He pushed Sandy out of mind and focused on being a good boyfriend, a good boybander, the model omega.

It was easy with everyone together, goofing off and mouthing off and laughing through the long afternoon, laughing through the show, and everything might have been okay - five shows down, only two to go, two was nothing - if Niall hadn't lingered in the dressing room of the venue, tying his shoes, soaking it all in, waving his mates ahead.

When the door opened he smiled at his laces. "Fuck, Li, I knew you couldn't leave me along for ten seconds."

"Is that how you talk to your alphas?"

Niall scrambled to his feet. "How's you get back here?"

That man, that alpha, from the hotel, the one who'd burned him, that man laughed a mean laugh. "It's easy to slip through the chaos when my friends are your security."

Niall gaped. They usually picked up locals to add to their security squad, he knew that, but though he made it a point to learn everyone's name he never had time to get to know anyone. Could alpha supremacists slip through? It was possible.

"What do you want?" Niall was proud of this tone, defiant and angry. This time was different. This time there was help just out the door. But - only two shows. His boyfriends drawn and exhausted and worried. An omega's prerogative to protect the pack. Screaming would be a last resort. 

"We need you gone, Niall Horan. We need our country to return to normal."

"I'm leaving in two -"

"You have done so much damage," the man so condescending Niall could have been a misbehaving dog. "Your interviews. Your shows. It is small wonder there are riots in the streets. Do you not care about the unrest you cause sending your message? I can send a message, too."

Niall expected the backhand and stood his ground. "I'll get you arrested."

"This is nothing, Niall Horan. We understand we cannot hurt the most famous omega, but currently my friend is with those betas. Three betas. If you choose not to leave he may choose to dispose of them."

The thought of someone hurting the happy, carefree Australian betas was too much to take. Niall tore out of the room. The man, whoever he was, laughed as he ran away.

He didn't run to his pack - he didn't think of it, could only think that a car would take so long in this crowd and he needed to find his friends _now_

"Niall?" a soft, familiar, accented voice.

He turned. "Suhavi." The interpretter form last week, the one he'd invited to the concert, the one bringing her sister, "Sunni."

"Are you all right?" The small alpha asked, and only then did Niall remember his throbbing cheek. There'd be a bruise soon.

"Can you help me?" Niall blurted. "I need to-"

"Of course," Suhavi said smoothly, "Whatever you need."

It was surprisingly easy to move through the crowd with Suhavi's scarf covering his face. Sunni, leashed to her big sister, asked question after question and they must have lookes like any other chattering group as they jogged down the block to the hotel. 

"You're amazing," Niall said in a hurry as soon as he got in the lobby, "thank you." He shook Suhavi's hand, gave the sister a hug, and left them behind as he jammed the elevator button. Up, up, up.

None of the crew had made it back to the hotel, and Niall was grateful no one stopped him. He had to get to the other band, the opening band who liked to leave after their set to wander the foreign cities by moonlight.

If they weren't here - Niall pounded the door.

And pounded again.

"Christ," the door swung open, "what the hell, Niall?"

He launched himself at Luke's waist. "You're okay!"

Luke stepped back into the room. "Course. We were just about to go out. Hit some clubs. Wanna come?" The boy tried to shake Niall off. "What's with the koala act?"

"Where's the guys?" Ashton was there, here, prying Niall off the youngest.

"Nice scarf." Mikey.

"What the fuck is on your face?"

Niall was pulled upright, his face prodded as he winced, a light flicked. He didn't know what to say, which question to answer first.

"Who did this?"

"Does it hurt? Hey! Get some ice!"

"Who the fuck did this? It wasn't -"

"Did your pack hit you, Nialler? Did your fucking alphas...hey, love, calm down, you're okay here."

"Look at his neck! It's bleeding!"

"Niall, are you hurt anywhere else?"

"Put him on the bed, mate, lay him down."

He was pushed onto his back and the burn flared, scorched up his spine, and for a long time Niall was lost in the white pain.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which everyone stays in the same room and Niall tells the truth.

  
_"Grief is the price we pay for love."_  
Queen Elizabeth II  
.***.

It was perhaps only seconds that Niall was passed out. He came to on his stomach draped across Mikey as the younger beta re-cleaned the wound. All around him was yelling.

"If his pack is hurting him I don't want them in here!" That was Luke, who had one hand tangled in Niall's hair.

"Do you - I mean, seriously, Luke, do you honestly believe Liam, or any of them, do you really believe _Louis_ would let anyone hurt Niall?" That was Calum in a placating, desperate tone.

"If we don't call them, and they weren't the ones hurting Niall - if they don't hear about this now they'll never forgive us. And I wouldn't blame them."

"Ashton - _alpha_ ," Luke tried again, but the drummer was already on the phone.

"Niall," Michael said softly, "does that hurt?"

"No," Niall whispered back.

The rest of the band descended upon him, and the questions were back. Niall put his head on the hotel sheets and wondered how the night had turned into this.

"Liam said they haven't left the venue. They were looking for him," Ashton took a deep breath and put a hand on Niall's shoulder. The alpha's touch was like a sunspot. "Niall, what were you thinking?"

The other band had been in Amsterdam. They were there when Niall woke up in the hospital, flinching away from alphas. Calum, Michael, and Luke had joined Louis on his bed, curling around him, safe and soft as home.

Now that Niall was still and surrounded with the boys again surrounding him, very much alive...now, here, he really didn't know what he'd been thinking at all. "I -" he began.

The arms around him were mindful of the burn. "Later," the boys said. "We'll wait for the others," the boys said. "We're here."

Niall was glad the questions had stopped. HIs whole life seemed to be endless questions.

After that, time

passed

slowly.

Ashton opened the door and crossed his arms to stop the rest of One Direction getting any closer. Calum and Luke stood warily in front of Niall.

"Get out of the way, Irwin!" 

"We're all going to calm down." Michael demanded from where he still pillowed Niall on the bed. "Alphas, you are all scaring Niall."

(and Luke and Louis, who both cringed towards the floor at the pheromones)

Zayn couldn't resist shoving Ashton's chest, and the drummed stared him down. "He's been burned," Ashton gritted out, his normally kind face scrunching into something dangerous. "He's been beaten. And his neck -"

"What are you talking about?" Harry's voice climbing octaves like they were kids again, genuinely confused.

"Niall's hurt," Calum said, betas so used to playing peacemakers, his voice soft, "and it doesn't look like a punishment - it wasn't looked after properly."

"The cuts on his neck might be infected," Michael's tone low to match the bassist's.

"Are you implying - you don't think we did it?" Liam looked distraught. "We'd never -"

"Well, someone hurt him."

"And he ran away!" Harry sounded so like the kid they'd all fallen in love with, lost in clothes too big for him. "He ran from a venue!"

Niall cringed at the tone and sat up. Mikey was somehow replaced by Louis and Zayn, both radiating concern, confusion, protectiveness, anger...Niall looked at Harry, and if everyone thought Niall needed protecting that Niall would have to be the one to look out for the pack's youngest. "I'm sorry," he began.

"I feel like we've been here before," Louis muttered.

Niall squeezed his eyes shit. Eight people staring at him. "You know," he said, "if I'd presented before X-Factor, during X-Factor, I wouldn't be in this band." The sound he made was almost a laugh. "Dunno where I'd be, to be honest, maybe the street. I wouldn't be here. Omegas aren't supposed to live this life."

Out of the corner of his eye he saw Luke's face crumple, Ashton pulling the boy into his chest.

He said everything fast. He'd kept it to himself before because everything had felt like it was back to normal, but this - this - was bad, and getting worse.

"And alpha found me at breakfast - yesterday? Oh my god that was only yesterday. I let him burn me. He said he was watching me. That usually famous omegas aren't punished, that instead their beta friends are killed -" he nodded at the three other band members, didn't mention Sandy. "He burned me anyway. I felt like I deserved it but...it also felt..." he trailed off, still couldn't name the bad feeling that had churned in him after the burn. "The same guy found me today. He hit me. He - it sounded like he'd hurt -" again a nod, Mikey and Calum blanched, Luke moaned. "I don't know what I was thinking, except I thought they were dead. I left and I didn't tell you because I thought they were dead, and I know it sounds stupid now but it's what I thought." He took a deep breath. "Also, Caleb has picture of me playing football with this lot and wants to make it out like you're all fighting over one omega. He wants to release the pictures when we get back to the UK."

The quiet was like the quiet after a song, before the applause and screams and noise, before the reaction. Good or bad.

He'd fucked up. He knew that with five personalities to look out for communication had to happen first, had to happen constantly, and he hadn't talked to his pack at all. Eventually they were going to get sick of teaching him the same lesson over and over. Eventually they'd leave, and he'd be alone.

"Wait," Ashton said, "what do you mean betas are killed?"

The words opened up a flood as everyone, it seemed, needed to talk now. "Oh, Niall," Harry said, still sitting next to him on the bed. Liam stalked back and forth across the room. Zayn pressed a hand to his mouth and sobbed.

"But," Ashton said again.

"So..." Mikey said, louder, "your pack wasn't hitting you?"

"Of course not!" The One Direction fiancés yelled as one. "We would never - how could you think that?"

Michael rubbed his eyes. "No one gets paid enough to deal with this shit."

"I'm sorry," Niall said. The sound in the room was eight people sighing as one. He took a deep breath. "It's just stupid stuff." He ran a hand through his hair, didn't get very far before Louis's hand tangled with his. "I wish Sandy was here."

(he didn't, he wouldn't wish this feeling on a friend)

"So," Ashton tried again, "when this guy said he'd kill your beta friends."

Niall shrugged helplessly, bundling Louis onto his lap.

"Look who's gone all alpha on us," Calum said appreciatively, the band always teasing their laid-back drummer for being a beta in disguise.

"Will filing a police report make you feel better?" Mikey suggested. "Someone has to get this ball rolling." He glanced at Liam. "I don't think they'd listen to anyone but an alpha here, do you?'

"Thank you," Liam said sincerely, then began, "Look, guys..."

"It's no problem. Let us help with this shit."

"But, before..." Liam locked eyes with Ashton. "I was out of line."

"You haven't learned how to share your bond mates," Mikey flashed a smile and ruffled Niall's hair. "It's okay. You don't think anyone but the four of you could possibly love Niall." He steered his band mates out of the room. "But we do," he said over his shoulder. "So much."

"Thank you," Niall said from within the pile of pack mates. "I'm glad you're safe."

"You too, Nialler. You too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> School's starting and I should probably be focusing on my thesis but oops I wrote a prequel to this story instead.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this for my little sister, so if you want to read graphic sex scenes read literally any other fic on this site. If you're here for the political commentary nobody asked for, you came to the right place.


End file.
